This blog has been about issues surrounding my work, country but hasn’t really been personal as in deeply personal thoughts.

Today 1st of April, 2021, i received messages from two female friends about getting married soon, the first was a prank for April fool’s day but the second was serious but I didn’t see it so immediately until I probed further for confirmation.

After seeing the beautiful picture of the intending couple, the question dawned on me “When am I getting married?”. I’ve had a fair share of serious and somewhat acquaintances, but the one’s that really clicked for me with respect to my desires and I believe theirs too had unfavorable fallouts which now looked as if the desires wouldn’t ever be met, and over time I end up reducing the milestones so as to accommodate new friends, that reduction creates friction afterward because they’re foundational principles for me. Below is a breakdown of what I think my challenges are.

Responsibilities (Hers)

I believe the older we get, the wiser and more brazen we ought to be in our approach to issues therefore ladies closer to my age should have learned the necessaries of being a woman and I don’t expect them to be spoon-fed on how to take responsibilities for their children. I’ve had the privilege of living with different families and I can attest to the necessities of firm parenting. In my short life, I’ve met some ladies who have no clue what being a wife or mother is all about, below is a quote from Mom Junction, I don’t want to sound religious hence I should be quoting Proverbs 31 straight up but I’m sure you’ll get the gist.

Behind every successful man is a woman. And if the man is married, then the woman is definitely his wife.

The role of a wife is so crucial that she can either make or break a family. She gives her husband the strength to succeed, she nurtures her children to stay healthy and do well in their life, and she has the ability to take care of every minute detail at home. You can read more on Mom Junction here Marriage becomes a beautiful journey when you provide for, nurture, and complement each other and when the husband reciprocates wife’s approach. As a wife, you might want to give it your best shot while maintaining your dignity and self-respect.

I can make excuses for the younger ones but not the older ones and I’ve met quite a few who are only interested in the title and not the responsibility involved.

Responsibilities (Mine)

So many times I feel unprepared for the full family weight hence my search for a helper and not an additional load,

Leadership: Leading a home is like leading a nation, there are threats, opportunities, internal troubles, frictions ( I never knew I can shout until Lagos drivers brought out that part of me which I deeply regret, now imagine a nagging woman under the same roof)

Finances:  I’ve watched families struggle through economic downturns and totally of the opinion that having a full-time housewife in Nigeria’s economy is risky hence my inability to make a decision with unemployed friends. As a rule, it’s my duty to provide but I also want to have an assurance that there’s a shoulder to lean on peradventure tides turn in business.

Livelihood:   So many times, I still feel like I’m yet to get to the type of livelihood I want my children to enjoy and wouldn’t want them to suffer unnecessarily as a result of my actions.

Extended family: I like my privacy a lot and always find it challenging to mix with people who I am bound to talk to by reason of our relationship. I once had a friend who I’m pretty sure her parents wouldn’t understand me after visiting them only once and never went back till we broke apart.


Looking at all these points, it seems my wedding day is still far away unless some miracle happens soon.

Are you in my shoes or you have a word for me, you can leave a comment or send me a message at +234(0)8037750777

Will I ever get married at all?