“Christabel, do you know Sharpener and pencil?”… I still remember TD asking me.
“Yes now. Who doesn’t know Sharpener and pencil? They are stationeries now”. I replied him.
“Not that kind of sharpener and pencil jaree. The other one”. He declared.
“Which other one?”… I asked.
“Come, let me show you”… He said smiling mischievously.

I was eight years old when my family and I relocated to another part of Lagos. For us, relocation meant change in every aspect. Change of environment, change of people, change of school as well for my siblings and I.
New school was great. At first, it was awkward because I felt I was always the centre of attention. Many of my classmates didn’t like me. They thought I was always trying to prove the ” most intelligent one”😂.
Only a few classmates were my friends. TD topped that chart.
TD was my seat partner. He was also the tallest guy in class. He always stood up for me anytime anyone tried to bully me for being the youngest in the class. He also helped me with mathematics assignment/classwork(Yeah, you guessed right. I hated mathematics when I was younger)😅. We were pretty good friends. The closest in the class.
The second term of the school session and we became even closer friends. He ate out of my lunch almost everyday. He loved eating momsy’ palmoil spaghetti. So any day momsy were to cook her specialty dish, I would tell her to add extra.
“TD, let me guess”😅… She would say.
She knew about my friendship with him. We were already becoming the best of friends then. I never hid anything from her.
In school, TD was very protective of me. You would think I was his junior sister the way he cared for me.
If a teacher were to hit me in class and I cried, he would also cry along with me. He would help me wipe away my tears as well. He never wanted anything bad to happen to me.
I remember falling down while running on one of the sport days in school. You could see concern all over his face.
“Are you alright? Is your leg paining you? Are you bleeding? Should I carry you?”… He threw the questions all at once.
Some mischievous classmates would always sing;
“Husband and wife.
Carry your baby…
And kiss yourself”… Whenever they saw us together.
I know a number of you know this song😂. “Kremenals😅”
They always called me TD’S wife. “Wife ke🙄”. “Wife biti bawo”… At age eight?
I told momsy about it. She didn’t take it funny. She spoke to my class teacher about it. My class teacher took action, at least, she thought she did🤷.
But my classmates never stopped saying it. I disliked the saying. But what could I do?
How many people could I correct? They just wouldn’t listen. Instead of getting upset, I formed tough skin. The song never got to me when they sang anymore.
It never moved me, but..
But… It did move TD. His face would always turn red when he was called; “Christabel’s husband”.
I was very young, but observant as well. I could easily read his expression. He always wanted to help me with one thing or the other. He always wanted to be around me… He didn’t like it if I played with other boys or borrowed an item from them.
Did I forget to say TD was just eleven then? Yes, he was.
When I told momsy, she confirmed he was someone I should be careful of. She told me to set boundaries. And not be too over familiar. I did all she instructed. Momsy also discussed with my class teacher to have my seat changed in the class.
We were friends, but not close friends anymore. I had created space.
I remember TD asking me why teacher changed my seat one day.
“I don’t know, she must have her reasons”… I told him to prevent him from being suspicious.
Momsy never joked and still doesn’t joke with our academics. That session, she enrolled me for the after school lesson to aid me getting better grades in mathematics.
After school lesson was stressful but fun as well. We were just a few that enrolled for lessons. TD was a part of us.
I couldn’t avoid him totally. Honestly, I didn’t want to avoid him in the first place. But momsy always reminded that; “Bad company corrupted good manners”. So hate it or like it, I had to put a boundary. We became just casual friends.
Then this day came, after solving mathematics for what looked like an eternity, our lesson teacher gave us a short recess time.
Everyone went out except TD and I. He came to where I was seated and sat next to me. One talk led to another. We were holding different conversations.

He looked at me and paused. “Christabel, I want to tell you something”. He said to me.
“Okay, what’s that?”… I asked.
“Promise me you won’t be upset if I ask”… He mentioned.
“Okay… I promise”.
“Do you know sharpener and pencil?”… He asked.
“Yes now. Who doesn’t know Sharpener and pencil? They are stationeries now”. I replied him.
“Not that kind of sharpener and pencil jaree. The other one”. He declared.
“Which other one?”… I asked.
“Come, let me show you”… He said smiling mischievously.
“Where to?”… I inquired.
“I want to show you sharpener and pencil now”… He announced.

“Can you not show me here? If you are not showing me here, then I’m not going anywhere”… I told him confidently.
He looked at me and smiled mischievously. “Are you sure you want me to show you here?”… He asked.
“Yes”. I said.
“Okay oo. The sharpener and pencil is a part of our body. The pencil is in boys while the sharpener is in girls”… He explained.
I really couldn’t grasp what he was saying. “Sharpener In girls, pencil in boys”😟.
“You don’t understand? Let me show you quickly before everybody comes back to the class”. He said trying to remove his belt👀😱.
“What are you trying to do?”… I inquired curiosly.
He looked at me with that smile again and said; “Have you watched blue film?”…
“Blue films?”… At that age, I didn’t understand what he was saying but I could sense danger.
And momsy always said if I ever sensed danger anywhere, It was advisable to run, to shout or to defend myself_ CODE DANGER🔴.
I really can’t remember what I used to distract him but; I know I did something and ran away from the classroom.
Thankfully, recess time was over In few minutes. I couldn’t concentrate in class after the incident. He also couldn’t look me in the face. “Why was TD trying to unbelt? What was he trying to do?”…
I got home swiftly that particular day as all I wanted to do was to tell momsy what had transpired.
After explaining what happened to me in school that day. Momsy further saw the need to intensify her sex education teaching.
She explained to me that blue films were pornographic movies. And sharpener and pencil were the human private parts 😲. She further commended my bravery and alertness in handling the issue.
She was also very angry and shocked at the same time. She wondered how TD knew so much at that age and class. Who were his parents 🤷🤷? I mean, we were just in primary four.
She came to school the next day with me and explained to the school head what had happened. She was very furious.
Our head master managed to calm her down. That day, TD wasn’t present in school. He didn’t come for a few days; I guess he was scared.
When he eventually came to school; he was severely flogged and condemned by our teachers for what he did.
I felt really bad for him. He never spoke to me after that day. I left the school a term afterwards. I have not set my eyes on TD ever since then.
I was just eight and TD was only eleven but he knew Soo much. So much that some adults didn’t even know.
Dear effective parents, are you still waiting for your kids to be full adults before you bring up the sex conversations with them?
You are waiting for the right time, you say.
Well, let me burst your bubbles, the society we live in, the media, people (Young, old) do not know your kids are below the ages.
So even if you don’t do the teaching, your kids are learning.
Do you see why you cannot keep silent and watch things go wrong?
I have a lot to say sincerely, but this piece is long enough already. This Moji does not want to bore you with her long long write up 😃.
Before I drop my pen, I would love to tell you this;
🔵 You cannot start sex conversations(Teach sex education) with a child you have connected with. “How you wan do am?”🤷. Be your child’s friend first, dear effective parents.
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Thank you for reading. I love you and God bless you 🙏❤️.
Have a productive week ahead 😊.

© Mojisola Ogundipe
Effective Parenting Coach.